You hear that term quite a bit in the mental health world. The term Survivor is typically used as a term of empowerment for those who have faced adversity such as domestic violence, sexual assault or childhood abuse.
There are numerous resources available for survivors of these types of trauma. Just do a quick internet search, and you’re bound to find forums, blogs, books, articles and professionals all aimed at helping this group of people.
Which is amazing! Because these resources give back power and voice to those who have suffered so greatly.
But what about those of us who have survived these adversities and are now parents. There are only a handful of resources I’ve managed to find that aims to help this group of people.
Why Is This Needed?
Why can’t I just go to all the survivor groups and blogs and find what I need there?
- Because no one told me how anxious I would feel about keeping my daughter safe.
- Because I wasn’t prepared for the paranoia over leaving my baby in the care of others because who knows what they are capable of.
- Because at ten months old I’m already thinking about how to convey body safety so that nothing unspeakable happens to her as it was done to me.
- Because I’ve found myself depressed because I’m not able to stay home with her. And memories of an emotionally distant and neglectful mother make this sting much more.
- Because I find myself obsessing about the way in which I parent so that she has a better life than I had.
And I’m not alone.
There are so many parents who are blindsided with the aftermath of their trauma when becoming parents.
Child birth causes intense triggers and invasive memories. Breastfeeding can be downright intolerable because of how it feels like old memories. Anger rises at innocent children because it’s so hard to control and manage.
The effects go on and on.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt compelled to start this project. To provide resources and encouragement to those of us in the throws of parenting who are trying to process the demons of our past so that we can give our children better.
Because they deserve that life. The life we never got.
But it’s scary to put myself out there like this.
The shame, the fear… its overwhelming. But I feel God’s call on my heart about this. And I firmly believe He wants to use my story for His glory and to help others.
So here I am.
I’m a survivor. I survived childhood sexual abuse and neglect. I survived a depressed and suicidal alcoholic mother.
And now I’m a mother. To the most amazing and rambunctious little girl in the world (clearly I’m biased).
And I’m a child of God. I wasn’t always. But He showed me who He was and helped heal some of the darker parts of my heart. He is still doing so.
Being a better parent is possible. You have the opportunity to start the new book in the saga of your family. How exciting is that?? It starts with you. And you CAN make that difference for your children, for their children and so on.
Will You Join Me On This Journey?
Look forward to posts on understanding abuse, child development and knowledge, the impact that abuse has on parenting and so much encouragement. Click HERE to start the journey.
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If you want further help, check out my page of resources here.