I would imagine this happens to all who create… it’s not a new feeling for me whatsoever. I’m feeling discouraged. I am losing my determination to move forward and my motivation to continue the path I’m on with this blog.
I tend to do this a lot in life. I start a journey and as I make progress I start to pull back. I start questioning my ability to succeed and start feeling ill-equipped, either due to lack of skill or sheer willpower to push through.
So I end up quitting. Unless the pain of staying the same is worse than that of change. Such as going gluten and dairy free for health reasons. During the first year, every time I would give in (or not be diligent enough to ensure my food was safe) I found myself laid up for three days with an autoimmune reaction. It was worth the change and even though it was hard, I didn’t give up.
But creative ventures and other endeavors that fall out of my comfort zone have a serious way of deflating my motivation.
I can hear the negative thoughts: “I don’t think I’m good enough.” “My writing skills suck.” “My topics don’t come together cohesively.” “My posts won’t help anyone.” “I won’t be able to make money doing this and be able to work from home” (A big fear I’m facing now).
All these things flutter through my head clouding focus and creating a chasm between me and motivation.
How do I combat these thoughts??
What keeps coming to mind is the way God sees me. He sees me as “enough” and in that there is peace. He died for me and even though I continue to be stricken with these paralyzing fears, He continues to love me, care for me, and seek me. He has equipped me for the work He asks me to do.
Obviously, I can’t speak for God. Nor do I truly know if writing this blog is definitely His will, but if it is, He has given me what I need to succeed according to His plan. This has been a hard concept to take to heart, though. I’ve fallen into this rhythm in the past of relying on the drive or what I believed was the holy spirit fueling me.
When I first became a Christian I was on fire. I truly felt the Holy Spirit move me to consume anything I could about Jesus and Christianity. I read books, listened to podcasts, joined a bible study, and even joined a growth group at church. During this time He had planted a seed in my heart and I wanted it to grow. I knew at some point I would have to do the work myself to keep the fire stoked and burning.
Without his divine motivation… or even worldly inspired motivation… I give up too easily.
Like I stated, perseverance and I have never really seen eye to eye. Workout regiments and artistic endeavors, in particular, have fallen by the wayside all because my drive went away.
Relying on drive alone won’t get a person to their goals. Just look at those who set New Year’s resolutions to get in shape. They stop going to the gym after only a few weeks. You have to put in the work. Be diligent. And it doesn’t hurt to have a strong “why” behind your endeavor.
Finding a “why” that will continue to fuel the motivation behind what you’re doing is so important. For me, that keeps being questioned. I know I want to glorify God with this blog. I also know I want to help people in any way I can. Then I’m also constantly fighting with the idea of the financial aspect of it. Specifically, making enough money on this endeavor so that I can stay home with the munchkin. (Idolatry much??)
Which brings me back to not believing I can do it.
I’ve clearly got a lot to work through. I know a big chunk will be just putting my nose to the grindstone and just getting stuff done. Which is evident by this post! Above all else, I’m striving to keep God first in this endeavor. I’m praying He continues to be with me, to guide me and give me clarity as He sees fit.
How about you? Have you found yourself in this place? Losing motivation and having difficulty finding the determination to push forward to your a goal?
I would love to hear what you’ve done to make it through. Please share your story in the comments!
May the motivation for your goals be strong, you’re “why” be inspirational and may God bless your journey.