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“Oh, you’re 35??? Aren’t you way too old to start having kids?”
So you’re in or approaching your 30’s. Maybe you’re dreading this new decade of life. Maybe you’re excited, or maybe it’s just another chapter like the rest.
Perhaps you’re in the middle of this stage like me and have discovered what an amazing time this is! Particularly to be a new mom.
In this day and age, lots of women are entering into motherhood a lot later than our counterparts of generations past. Whether due to women pursuing careers or perhaps because of longer life spans of our population, many women are waiting until their 30’s to start families.
This still isn’t seen as a positive thing to many. There are indeed higher risks when you wait to have children and these should be considered carefully.
And many would frown upon or simply think you’re nuts for wanting to deal with teenaged children in your 50’s. A time you should be gearing up for retirement and grandchildren.
But I’m here to share a few reasons that I think having children in your 30’s is an awesome thing!
(These are generalizations, not everyone’s life unfolds the same).
1. You’re Financially Stable
You’ve probably put in your time working in the food industry or retail making part-time minimum wage. Those are days long past, even though you can still remember the smell of baked bread and pickles on your hands like it was yesterday.
By your 30’s you have worked your way up into a well-paying career. Additionally by now you probably know how to handle your money. You pay rent, bills and put money into a 401K account.
Wow! You’re adulting like a boss!!
So when the munchkins come along, you’re in a better position to be able to buy those endless supplies of diapers, wipes, and onesies without completely depleting your paycheck.
2. You’re Established At Your Job
You know your job well. You can do your daily tasks practically on auto pilot. You’re also a valued employee by your boss and coworkers.
You’ve created job security. So going out on maternity leave most likely won’t create a fear of not having stable income when you return to work.
(Gonna stand up here on the soapbox a minute). Living in the US, we have crappy ass parental leave. Sure, FMLA helps to create job security if you choose to use your accrued time or Leave Without Pay to be able to heal and take care of your newborn. On top of this there are still stipulations.
If you work for a smaller company – 50 employees or less- or have only been there a short time – under 20 weeks, your job isn’t guaranteed to be there if your conpany allows you to take leave.
So establishing yourself at a company and becoming a valuable employee will help you to feel secure about making that choice to take time off.
3. You’ve Enjoyed Time Spent With Your Spouse… Without Kids
The big wedding was years ago now. Date nights have been frequent and range from a day hiking in the park to an extravagant dinner in the city. And sex has been relatively logistically easy – I say relatively because of all that pesky hair removal that probably should happen before such events.
Taking time to enjoy your marriage before having kids is huge. Not only do you experience a lot of what life has to offer with your favorite person, you have the chance to build a solid foundation with your spouse.
This foundation is key in venturing into parenthood. Hopefully, you both are on the same page about most big parenting decisions. And by now you’ve figured out how to communicate better… well as much as spaghetti and waffle brains can. (This is a reference to the book “Men Are Like Waffles- Women Are Like Spaghetti” By Bill and Pam Farrel. Seriously great book! Highly recommend it. There’s a link included at the bottom of this page.)
4. You Have Confidence In Yourself
A lot of your 20’s is really spent learning who you are. When you finally get to your 30’s and you come to terms with a LOT of stuff. You have a tendency to enjoy your 30’s in a way you never could in your 20’s.
You are aware of your strengths and your weaknesses. You aren’t as self-conscious about the way others view you. You speak up for yourself in a new way. You are, for the most part, happy with who you are.
I definitely couldn’t say that of my 25-year-old self.
5. You Just Don’t Give A Crap About Others’ Opinions Of Your Parenting
This new confidence leads to a more self-assured way of approaching parenting.
Sure you’ll second guess yourself quite a bit as that comes with new mom territory.
But chances are, you’ll find your rhythm and adopt a parenting style that may not include all that unwarranted advice that people just love to give.
Your decisions as a parent are informed and thought through. And I’m sure there is some advice you won’t mind taking.
But if someone doesn’t agree with you or like your choices… well, that sounds like their own personal problem.
There are a ton of naysayers in the world. And a lot of people’s principles won’t align with yours. I hope you never feel coerced into taking advice that feels wrong.
Get second opinions, do your research and go with those mommy instincts.
I feel like this is a bit easier to do in your 30’s I’ll tell ya!!
So you’ve decided to breastfeed that beautiful baby of yours. You’ve heard from your friends who had babies in their 20’s that your boobs will never be the same again.
But guess what??
Your 35-year-old boobs were already heading south for the winter. So a little breastfeeding wear and tear ain’t gonna bother you none.
You enjoyed the girls in their prime, it’s time to put them to work!
So there you have it!
Don’t fret over being in your 30’s with your first child. Of course, seek professional medical assistance and do your homework on any health issues that may crop up. But even research is showing that risks associated with pregnancy over age 30 are only slightly elevated among healthy women.
And of course, this is in no way putting down the younger mom counterparts out there. You have many pros to our cons as well.
But gone are the days of putting women who are childless by 25 out to pasture.
Are YOU in your 30’s and just starting to have children? What are some awesome positives you’ve experienced?
May your confidence shine bright, your risks remain low and may God bless your journey.